Workplace Communication: How to Be Heard, Seen and Understood at Work

A few years ago, Craig Wortmann gave a room full of executives his usual answer to a question he hears all the time: "Where do I find stories to tell?"

"Stories are everywhere," he said. "You just have to notice them."

Afterward, his partner at the Kellogg Sales Institute pulled him aside. "Craig, telling people stories are everywhere is not helpful." She was right. The advice was true, but it didn't tell anyone what to do next.

That's the trap most of us fall into at work. We say things that are accurate and well meant, and they still don't land. Good workplace communication isn't about saying more. It's about making sure the other person understands you and can act on what you said.

Here's how we coach people to do that.

Start With Questions, Then Listen

Most of us listen at one level. We hear the words, and we're already drafting our reply. The other person feels heard, and that's about it.

In our Ask and Listen MasterCourse™, we describe three levels of listening. At level one, people feel heard. At level two, you pick up on how they're feeling and ask a better question, so they feel seen. At level three, you connect what they said and felt to the progress they're trying to make. That's where people feel understood.

You get there with questions. A simple "Help me understand why that's on your mind" does more than any speech. Then stay in the question. Let the other person finish before you jump to your answer.

Say It Crisply

People are busy and distracted. They won't take the time to dig through a long message to work out what you meant.

So say what you mean the first time. Lead with your point, then add only the detail people need to act on it. Skip the jargon and the dressed-up language. Fancy words don't make you sound smarter. They bury your message.

Being crisp is an act of generosity. It saves everyone time, and it makes your idea easy to repeat in rooms you're not in.

Open Every Meeting With a Purpose-Benefit Check

A lot of poor communication happens in meetings. They drift off topic and end with "Looks like we're out of time."

Fix the start and the rest gets easier. Open with a purpose-benefit check. State why you're all here and what everyone gains from the time together, then check that it works for the room. It takes less than a minute.

When someone pulls the meeting off course, you now have something to pivot back to. You're not asking for permission. You're keeping the meeting on track for everyone in it.

Make Feedback a Weekly Habit

Feedback is the engine of improvement. Without it, you have no idea whether you're getting better.

We use a simple 2x2. Ask the person what they think they did well, then share one thing you saw them do well. Next, ask what they would do differently, then share one thing you'd like them to do differently. One "did well" and one "do differently." That's it.

It works because it's short and specific, and because the other person speaks first. Use it after a presentation or a client call. Then ask for it yourself. The best communicators we know go looking for feedback instead of waiting for it.

Embrace Healthy Conflict

Most people avoid difficult conversations. They smooth things over and hope the problem goes away. We call that unhealthy peace.

Healthy conflict is better. When a conversation gets tense, slow down. Ask a question, then let the silence sit for a moment. Tactical silence gives the other person room to say what's really going on. Listen at level two or three, and you'll often find the disagreement is smaller than it looked.

A hard conversation handled well usually strengthens the relationship. One that's avoided rarely disappears.

Write the Way You Talk

Much of your communication at work happens in writing, from email and chat to proposals and project updates. Writing is a conversation on paper, so treat it like one.

Keep it clear and simple, and let some of your personality through. Before you hit send, ask yourself two questions. What do I want them to do? How do I want them to feel?

Then pick the right channel. Quick questions belong in chat. Anything sensitive or complicated deserves a call or a face-to-face conversation, where your tone can't be misread.

Practice Until It Becomes a Habit

None of this sticks because you read about it. Communicating well takes knowledge, skill and discipline. Knowing what a purpose-benefit check is counts as knowledge. Running one smoothly is skill. Doing it in every meeting, even when you're rushed, is discipline.

Practice in low-stakes moments first. Try a crisp opening in your next team meeting, or use the 2x2 with a colleague after a call. Ask one more question than you normally would before you give your answer.

Then watch what changes. Meetings get shorter, and you'll get fewer emails asking what you meant.

Where to Go From Here

Strong communication pays off over a whole career. It helps you lead teams and earn trust, and it starts with small habits you repeat every week.

These ideas come from our MasterCourses™ at Learn Sell Grow, including Ask and Listen, Say It Crisply, Run Fantastic Meetings and Embrace Healthy Conflict. Pick one habit from this article and try it this week.